Fighting In The Iraq

Due to the dearth of culinary options here, and the fact that I have to "cook" my own food (since Falafel Man has been faithfully observing Ramadan), I am actually down to the weight that is printed on my Driver's License.

I like to refer to it as my "Fighting Weight".

Can't blog. Ramadan.

I'm not even fasting, and I'm exhausted. My kids (students) are all exhausted and hungry and have headaches, so I'm working that much harder to keep them entertained.

Buh.

iM iMpressed, iPod!

Was completely amazed by iPod today. Sitting out in sun (Vitamin D, very important), with iPod clicked on "Shuffle Songs". This is what came out:

1. Anna Begins - Counting Crows
2. I Could Fly - Keith Urban
3. Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
4. Love is Nothing - Liz Phair
5. Love Song - Sara Bareilles
6. Minarets - Dave Matthews
7. I Will Survive - Cake
8. Ghost - Howie Day
9. Paloma - Carbon Leaf
10. Beyond Belief - Elvis Costello
11. Daylight Robbery - Imogen Heap

Then I had to go inside for a glass of water.

However embarrassing you might think some of those are; they are no comparison to the cringe-inducing barrage of Barry Manilow, Rick Springfield, and Andy Williams' Christmas songs that usually pop up when I select "Shuffle Songs".

Mind you, this is only cringe-inducing if others are within earshot. I adore Barry Manilow.

Slow, With A Sense of Humor

New friend Ellen and I attempted to get pedicures today. A nice salon was recommended by one of the Kurdish staff at the university. She said it was only "okay", but to try it.

From the entrance it looked great!

The interior resembled one of the mid-lower-end salons you might find in any big city; or possibly Queen Latifah's place in "Beauty Shop". Red pleather furniture, piles of magazines on the table, stylists wearing their iPods stuck into the pocket of a smock. There was a woman in repose, enjoying a facial, and another having her eyebrows threaded, and still another getting a sassy short haircut.

We waited for 15 minutes before a woman motioned to Ellen to be seated and soak her feet in a small tub of water. Ten more minutes passed before a small soaking dish was brought out for her hands. We both commented that these two things could have been done at the same time, but whatever, it's not our salon.

Ellen soaked for 20 minutes, while the manicurist played with her 4-year old boy, who was running around in a pink glitter t-shirt with red pants, wearing smeared red lipstick on his face, and toenail polish on his toes.

This was taking far longer than either of us had allowed for, and I still needed to get a few groceries, so I decided to forgo my pedicure, while Ellen helplessly continued her extensive soaking. I think she was finally finished 2.5 hours after we arrived.

On my way out of the salon, I noticed a fragrance display at the front desk. At the moment I am hard-pressed to think of anything that is funnier than this.

Because, you know, we're in The Iraq.

Role Modeling

From time to time, in between my musings on shoes, television and snacks, I think about what it is I'm actually doing here. What am I doing here? According to one of my favorite students, Aveen, I am setting an example.

During the 15-minute break in class yesterday, Aveen informed me that she had told her mother all about me. "I tell her you are such good teacher, and so beautiful, and care so much, and I want to be like you, and to teach."

Beautiful! Really?! Okay, no, focus please. That was clearly not the important part of Aveen's statement.

Aveen is 21 years old, and close to graduating university with a degree in psychology. Her English is very good, and she speaks with an awesome level of confidence in class. On the first day we had been discussing the local culture, and how it is not acceptable for women to be out and about after the sun sets. Men can run around freely, and have dinner with their friends, or just hang out on the street. Unless they are accompanied by a male family member, women cannot. They are assumed to be "bad" women, and all the connotations that go along with that.

I was asking the class, both men and women, what they thought of that unwritten rule. Not surprisingly, the women didn't like it, and Aveen went so far as to cross her arms and shake her head violently, and say "I HATE it! I HATE THAT RULE!" The men in class are mostly in their early 20s and said they didn't like the rule, but also really didn't seem particularly concerned with it. Like "Well, whatever, I really just wish I were playing video games right now".

There are plenty of people here who will claim that the women are perfectly happy and content to stay at home - "They prefer it!" - and I'm sure there are some women who have no desire to go out with girlfriends and have a good time, regardless of the time of day. But there are also plenty of girls and women like Aveen.

Yesterday was the first time it actually dawned on me that some of the female students might view me as a role model. Holy crap. I'm like a grown-up, slightly less annoying version of Miley Cyrus.

Must remember to use newfound power only for good, and not for selling records and mediocre, bubblegum-poppy feature films.

Where Is The Funny?

There has been a drastic shift in television programming here. I can't figure out if it is the time of year, or if the originally somewhat jolly head of programming at MBC was fired and replaced by his more depressed and angry cousin. Or, I could also say "These shows aren't like the ones they have in Erbil", in that same whiny tone of voice you used in grade school, when telling your substitute teacher he/she was doing something wrong, "That's not how Mrs. Murphy does it."

For whatever reason, the MBC channels (and Dubai One, which we didn't have in Erbil) have been showing all-action, all-dark-drama, ALL THE TIME. When flipping between channels I am caught viewing a montage of bloody stabbing, DNA reports, menacing robots, traumatic attacks, and the occasional non-violent flash of Nate Berkus redesigning someone's kitchen on "Oprah".

Where did the funny go? When I left Erbil, in June, there had been plenty of ridiculous, silly comedies, and lighthearted romantic features. Now, I'm here in Suli, in August, and when I get home from teaching, and just want to relax and laugh a little, I'm faced with Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude van Damme. And menacing robots.

In class, we just had a discussion about violence in movies (and video games), and how it affects people in real life. My students had varying opinions on the topic, although my point was proven when one of the happiest, smiliest (probably a word) students told us a story about how, after losing at one of his violent video games, he threw a glass against the wall and it shattered. He told us the story while grinning widely, and laughing.

I think any country that has been struggling with war and widespread violence should have only hilarious television programming. All the time. I want to wake up and eat breakfast with any and all characters from the John Hughes' movies, take a lunch break with Sandra Bullock, Goldie Hawn and Zooey Deschanel, and finish up my day with Will Ferrell and the kids from "Superbad".

I have taken matters into my own hands and have downloaded Season 1 of "30 Rock" on iTunes.

Oh Ramadan, Must You?

Falafel Man will not be making the magically delicious falafels during the entire MONTH of Ramadan, which, this year, begins on/around August 22nd. And they call it a holiday? How is "no falafel" festive?!

For the uninformed (which includes me), Ramadan is the holiday where Muslims fast from sunup to sundown.

My source, Wikipedia, says: "...participating Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, sexual conduct, smoking, and indulging in anything that is in excess or ill-natured; from dawn until sunset. Fasting is meant to teach the Muslim patience, modesty and spirituality..."

I can be patient, modest and spiritual AND eat falafel. I promise! Plus, no falafel makes ME ill-natured!

Wikipedia goes on to explain "...During Ramaḍān, Muslims ask forgiveness for past sins, pray for guidance and help in refraining from everyday evils, and try to purify themselves through self-restraint and good deeds..."

I think having the falafel cart open for hungry, non-Muslim English instructors would definitely fall into the "good deed" category.

On a somewhat less-selfish note, I am also worried about my students fasting in 113 degree temperatures. They are not supposed to drink water? Not good! I just don't think the Prophet Mohammed could have possibly predicted Global Warming, with the yearly increase in temperatures, and maybe some of the Ramadan rules could be relaxed in keeping with current times?

Like drinking water? and maybe the falafel cart? pretty please?

See Gretta Adapt

That's right - adapt. As in "to life in Suli". I believe you have to learn to be happy wherever you are. And rather than complaining about how you can't find M&Ms anywhere...oh wait. That actually worked in my favor. Nevermind.

But really, you should always focus on the positives, and one of Suli's positives is Falafel Man. Falafel Man has a small stand a couple of blocks from the university, and if he weren't there, I have no idea what I would have been eating for lunch these past few weeks. M&Ms maybe.

I want to profess my undying love for Falafel Man, but just the platonic, satisfied customer kind of love. The falafels are delicious in a very zesty sort of way, and I don't use the word "zesty" that often. You won't see Falafel Man wearing any of those silly Subway "Sandwich Artist" plastic gloves, no siree.

We just have to hope that he practices good hygiene. He seems to take his job fairly seriously, as he would not crack a smile for the photos, so I think we're safe there. Plus, I've been eating them 5 days a week, for two weeks now, and I still haven't gotten sick.

Assistant Falafel Man is okay too, although he takes about 20 minutes to make one falafel. We might change his title to "Slow-Motion Falafel Man", or "Oh My God Are You Kidding Me With How Slow You Are Making Those, It's A Million Degrees Out Here". As you can see, he finds the whole "photographing the falafel cart" thing hilarious.

These falafels will most certainly be one of the things I miss and crave when I leave The Iraq.

Ebarrassment of Riches

One week later...Apologies for the lapse in posts. Am exhausted! New teaching schedule is a shift in gears for me, and am still adjusting.

Rather than the class of 2 I had in Erbil, I now have two classes of 15 students, each, and there's also a great deal more people-interaction, due to being at the main university (teachers, staff, etc). Whew! Am pooped!

The upside of this is that I absolutely adore my students. All of them. I even like the one who gets on my nerves - an older man with conservative views and a short attention span. He means well, but his views are a drastic contrast to the younger students in the class.

The students range in age from 16 (a VERY sweet girl named Soleen who wears pink sneakers to class, and raves that her favorite movie is "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button") to around 60 (a mild-mannered, darling man named Saman, who told me he spent 9 years in one of Saddam's hideous prisons). They are excellent students, and seem very eager to learn English, which makes my job easy. I LOVE easy.

I have had three particularly notable interactions with students, thus far:

1) I was told - by other teachers - that my students would NEVER ask any personal questions, so I had relaxed into a false sense of security about not having to answer the "Are you married" question. Silly me. One of my students, who bears a slight resemblance to the soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo (he is 23 and no, absolutely not), eschews the 15-minute breaks I give them in the middle of class. He prefers to stay in the classroom and say things like "Teacher, can I ask you personal question?" Without thinking of what that means, I answer "Sure". So I then have to answer "Are you married?" and "How old are you?" Crap.

2) The students all have to sign an attendance sheet when they enter the classroom, and my student Rozhan was signing her name when I noticed a stunning diamond ring on her hand. "OH that is a BEAUTIFUL ring!" I exclaimed. She looked up and said "For you", and proceeded to remove the beautiful ring and hand it to me, which I thought was just so I could get a better look at it...until I remembered hearing something about the Arab culture where, if you compliment something, the wearer, or owner, will give it to you. Crap. I looked at the ring and then said "Lovely! But I really love it on YOU!" and handed it back to her, reminding myself not to compliment material items.

3) I was complaining to several students that I couldn't find M&Ms in Suli, although they are available at most grocery stores in Erbil. A sturdy young man named Choman said "Teacher - you like chocolate?" Do I like chocolate. Hahahahahahaha. Kind of. Anyway, Choman claimed that M&Ms are easily found in Suli, and that he would find some for me. The next day, he handed me a bag that contained this:

(As you can see, I have already cut into the M&Ms). He then proceeded to explain that he did have a difficult time finding M&Ms, and had gone to a number of markets with no luck. So he then went out to the Suli airport, and bought M&Ms at the Duty Free shop.

Normally, I would not accept gifts from students, but when it's candy I really lose all sense of decorum and turn into a 5-year old.

As I mentioned before, I adore my students. LOVE them!